One of my friends referred me as an unreasonable, illogical & a baseless human being today. Ooph!!! The sentence itself is very unreasonable, I must say. Well to be honest she is not the first one to tell me so. A lot many friends of mine have already mentioned that. Though they all understand me very well but then I thought to use my blog as a clarification. First of all let me discard that baseless thing because I am not going to buy that. Because every single living being or anything has some base associated with it. I hope even she did not mean it that way. Anyways let me come to the first two words. Most of my friends take me as that primarily because of my unusual behavior. The first thing that I would like to highlight over here is I always like to keep myself completely wrapped. That does not essentially mean I am rebellious but I am close to a large extent. Close as in from my childhood itself I have never been open to anybody except my mother. Even my father hardly gets to hear a “papa” from me. As I grew up I did not get the chance to interact with my mom like I was doing always. Whenever I needed something I used to say that to my mom who in turn conveyed the same to my father & ultimately I got what I wanted. I have had a lot of friends probably more than anybody else as I have studied in 6 different schools, 3 different colleges for intermediate & graduation & now another college for my post graduation. But not a single one of them knows me to the core as I never wanted them to do so. Anyways coming back to my unusual behavior first of all I have always stayed at places where I was viewed as the son of an administrative officer. If you can’t imagine let me tell you it’s a very hard thing to digest. I don’t really appreciate getting that silly attention just because your father is in a high post. If you start behaving like, you are expected to, then you come out as an arrogant person. When you don’t, then people feel like you are avoiding them. Thank god now I am in such a place where it does not bother me anymore. So all these things actually contributed to my fewer interactions with other people. I JUST BEHAVE UNUSUALLY because I don’t like the formal counterpart of it. I show extra penchant towards someone in the very first meeting because I feel like he/she is one who matches my frequency level. So become good friends rather than taking one step at a time. By friends I mean only friends. I also avoid few from the very first meeting itself as I can figure out that we two can’t share any kind of relationship at any point of time. Now talking about my illogical behavior hmm I would say probably that goes with my image. I never want to really come out as a serious, intellectual person who you can respect. I would rather love to go with an image which nobody notices till it does something extra ordinary. I am not really bothered as I have a knack of doing extra ordinary things often. . Chalo its enough for now. I better give some break to my eyes & go to sleep. I just want to say guys portraying as unreasonable & illogical are the ones who CAN be the most reasonable & logical ones when it is required.

Lagnajit. The winner of time. One who utilizes time in the best manner.
Jeet. The winner. One who does not have a word called losing in his dictionary.
Both the names signify me. But unfortunately I don’t symbolize any of them.

The reason for saying all these is I feel I am trapped at the dead end. I don’t have any ways to come out of it. Some problems that I created for myself, some people feel as created by me & for others I am not responsible at all. But still I am jammed with no solution in sight. I am in a war with no ammunitions with me. I don’t know why I chose to get into all these but probably my ARROGANCE & OVER CONFIDENCE entitled me to do so. Now there can’t be a better phrase for me. “DHOBI KA KUTTA, NA GHAR KA NA GHAAT KA”. Please go through them & if you have any suggestions please come forward with it.
• I am not getting my desired marks at all primarily because of two reasons. First I am not at all serious. I mean I can’t expect to get good marks by studying for just 15 minutes before a midterm or an end term. Though it does not matter for me but still my self esteem does not allow me to be in the average region of the class. I need to be there at the top.
• I am facing problems with my choice of career. My father is strictly against the profession that I have already chosen for myself. Now I guess I will have to make a tradeoff between the two. I just can’t make up my mind how to reach at a negotiating stage.
• Girls are nothing other than destructive weapons. Just when I was coming to the normal mode after going through that entire mental trauma, now I am into another big problem. I just can’t decide what to do. People say boys have no control over their emotions so they just fall for every other girl who cares for them. But I say its bullshit. Why can’t be a boy& a girl be friends only?
Well there are a whole lot of other things that i wanted to write but don’t feel like anymore. So I am cutting it short over here only. You guy stake care & enjoy.

Hmm. Finally I am going to get a day’s off from the mind-numbing classes on the eve of Sunday. I must call it as that only as Sunday is no less than a religious occasion or a national holiday kind of thing for us now. But what a Saturday it has been so far for me!!!

1. I got up at 8.15 in the morning & my first lecture of the day was scheduled at 8.30 that too of Richa mam who does not give attendance to the late comers.

2. My group was asked to present right away in the very first class itself.

3. I actually set a world record I must say by giving the worst presentation ever.

4. In the very next class, our group was again asked to give a presentation in which I actually beat my previous world record set just a lecture ago by giving another pathetic one.

5. Right after the lunch I got another bad news. I got only 14 marks out of 20 in the midterm exam of marketing management where as the students who have not yet got a single B grade in any of the exams had got more than 15.5.

6. The day almost got over till it gave me the most dismal shock. My name has now got a mention in the defaulter’s list of MCS for not attending adequate lectures.

So I am experiencing the nastiest Saturday of my life. The day is over but let’s wait & see what does the night has in store for me.

Hey guys! My writing skills are pathetic. It becomes even more pathetic when it comes down to writing something which involves the feelings of heart. Because I believe I am a person who has a heart only for the smooth transportation of blood & oxygen with no feelings in it. I tried to change myself a lot many times but I guess the Almighty wants me to be like that only.
I believe a lot of words go unspoken which I should speak up. I just want you to know all that.
I don’t know who my love is. Some say she is the first girl that I met when I was in my LKG class. Some say she is the first lady professor who taught me physics in the primary school. Some say she is the first friend of mine who got married last week. Some say she is the first girl friend that I had who walked away from me because she thought our choices did not match & finally very few & to be specific only I say she is the one who has changed my life even before being a part of it. I know she can’t be mine. But I consider myself really fortunate because I get to have a glimpse of her every single night in my dreams.
My Love!!! This one is exclusively dedicated to you…
I love you for WHO YOU ARE.
I love you for your tenderness when I look into your eyes.
I love you for your assertiveness when I don’t make you feel special.
I love you for your bashfulness when my palm touches your hand accidentally.
I love you for your vigor when I walk away from you without expressing my love.
I love you for your appealing look when you say “Please don’t do this.”
I love you for your irritated look when you say “You have to do this.”
I love you for your spongy tone when I say “I love you.”
I love you for your destructive tone when I don’t say “I love you.”
I love you for your poise when you feel that I will be always there with you.
I love you for your anxiety when you feel you will lose me someday.
I love you for your fury when I notice some girl passing by.
I love you for your apprehensiveness when I don’t notice any other girl.
Just want to say you my love!!!
That you are the best &
I love you for WHO YOU ARE.

HUH!!! This is the paramount way to initiate this post of mine. The motive behind such kind of an expression is the celestial experience that I got after being in the board room for duration of more than 9 hrs. it was actually the presentation session of the NGO project that I carried out for a month. It was my first individual presentation before a panel but to be honest I was not in the frame of mind at all. Probably the state level debates & extempore helped. I have so many things to write but then I guess I would have to divide all the matter into different posts otherwise it would become a bhagwat gita. Hmm this post of mine concentrates on my presentation & the criticism that I got from the panel of EXPERTS. When I say experts I really mean that. Well I was the 5th student from the group who was asked to present. It all started on a very lighter note with the panel asking me about my hometown & all. I presented whatever I had to & to the best of my ability. I could figure out it did not go as I expected it to but it was relatively ok. But after the presentation got over I actually got to know that I had given a presentation. The experts started shooting bullets from all angles, some hand grenades were also thrown and rockets were launched. The area covered everything ranging from the mistakes on slides to the blunders during the project work, from the mistakes in the way of presentation to the mistakes on the part of the NGO also. They were shooting & I was showing them all the skills that I had learnt by doing a 2 month course in LIFE STYLE MANAGEMENT (thanks to ITM, for a change). All of a sudden a bullet hit me from nowhere n I got wounded. I was embattled for taking Barak Obama’s name instead of any Indian leader. The first thing that came to my mind was “What the f***”. I wish I could say that at that very moment. The expert who was talking simple shit about his fundas of Indian culture, tradition & all , did not even know that it’s the Indian culture only which says to appreciate others. To quote one of his statements he said “Barak Obama is a politician & a manipulative man. Tony Blair is a better leader.” I can make out that there are only two reasons for such kind of a statement. Either you don’t know the basic definition of a leader or you want to get the attention by giving a completely bizarre statement. I guess it was a combination of the two in his case. There were a lot of other things that happened one after another. I mean the expert did not realize that he was teaching politics to a politician. Manipulating the facts to make it beneficial for me is like in my blood. See Belonging to a family having a landlord, a high court judge & an administrative officer really helps. I should not mention all the things because DIPLOMACY is one of the most important traits to be a good politician which I desperately aspire to be. Anyways I am cutting it short here only. I just want to say that it was his good luck probably that saved him from a clear disaster called JEET. Lastly I would like to say I really respect that person for achieving so much in his life, for having such a vast knowledge in almost every field. I just want to advice him to be a bit flexible. That would command more respect from his students for him. Anyways Sir have a good life. Hope to be in the wrong side of yours someday.